There are ways to be touched that are brilliant
and other ways that are kind of blah. If there's one thing we know about the
way people touch each other during sex it's that they often touch their partner
the way that they, themselves, like to be touched rather than finding out how
their partner likes to be touched.
Although there's a lot of variability in how
people like touch, it tends to be the case that men - whose genitals are
covered in skin and less sensitive than women's - tend to prefer rougher forms
of touch. More thrusting, more vigor. Whereas women - whose genitals are more
vulnerable and some ways and more sensitive
in some spots (hello, clitoris!) - tend to prefer less aggressive touch.
Women often prefer gentle tongue flicks on the clitoris or gentle but first
stimulation of their genitals. Again, this isn't always the case - there are no
clear gender rules in sex - but generally speaking, this is often where things
fall apart.
So, how do we get "touch" right? Well, believe it or not, just ask!
Yes, show him how and where to touch, better still run through the actual scenario and actually do the touching.
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